Once we were admited to our room, I alternated walking the halls and sitting on the ball. Gabe was my hero when he would push on and massage my back during contractions. It was still fairly easy to breath through them, but of course it got a little more difficult and I had to focus through them as time went on. By 2 am I had dialated to 3 cm. The nurse said I was progressing well and that walking seemed to be working. I was so tired though! More walking seemed like torture! It did feel amazing to bounce and rock on the ball and rest my upper body on the bed. The only problem was I would start to fall asleep and doing so on a non-flat surface didn't really feel safe, so back in bed I went.
As the hours passed, she continued to monitor Claire & me intermittently. Claire's heart beat was alwasy strong. She tolerated the long labor very well. During cervical checks, they determined she had dropped from station -2 to -3, which meant she was ready to go! But, by 10 am, my cervix hadn't dialated much more than what it was 8 hours before. =( It was almost fully thinned out, but that doesn't really allow a baby to pass through. So, they ordered the dreaded Pitocin.
Back in early August, I made a birth plan that strongly urged for as drug-free birth as possible. And for the most part I thought I was doing okay. It was tough to breathe through each contraction, but not the worst. As long as I stayed calm and relaxed, it wasn't that bad. Unfortunately though, as the morning progressed and as I heard "still a 3" at each check, I allowed myself to get more discouraged and that just made the problem worse. The lack of confidence along with the Pitocin (if you don't know it increases the strength and intensity of your contractions) kind of sealed my decision to go with the epidural.
It was ordered around 10, but there were two other women in line for it before me, strangely enough their waters also broke and they weren't progressing as well as hoped either. And you think full moon inductions are phooey! Think again!
After administration of the Pitocin, my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and lasted about 1 minute. About 11:00 the anesthesiologist walked in. Yay! But, just before he washes his hands, he is paged to the OR to help out with a c-section. All hope of relaxation fled the room with him. Of coruse the next hour that he is gone, my contractions are much worse. This means I spent 1 minute bawling and writhing in pain and the next minute I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. I'd been awake for 27 hours at this point. Did I mention this lasted for about an hour?!
Getting the epidural was kind of weird. I had to force myself not to think that a tube was being put in my back super close to my spine. It wasn't painful at all, just weird. The worst part was worrying that I'd move when a contraction come on while he was doing it. Movement = possible paralysis. Yes, that's what I want! But, relief came soon enough and I was able to sleep. The epidural medicine is partially driven by gravity, so I had to roll over every half hour. Well, have you ever tried to move a body part when it is completely numb? Ha! Every time the nurse would try to move me, I'd try to help out of instinct. And nothing would work. Even though she was a super tiny lady, she'd reach right under me and flip me to the other side.
Time kept flying by as I was in and out of sleep. Soon I was being told that if I hadn't progressed enough by 7 pm, they'd have to do a c-section. And at 7, they checked me and of course! I was only a 4 - not enough for them to let me deliver vaginally. Bummer. The next thing I know, I was being whisked away to the OR. When they move, they move! Gabe was taken to the recovery room to put on his "painter's uniform" while they prepped me for surgery. They increased the epidural and my numbness grew and grew. Soon, they were asking if I could feel them pinching me and I was like, whatever you're not doing anything to me. Sure they were. They put up a blue sheet infront of me so I couldn't see anything.
After I heard them doing a count of their supplies, which was comforting, movement and preparations seemed to slow down. The anesthesiologist asked if anyone else would be coming in. There was a chorus of nos. What?! My brain screamed. What about Gabe!! I need him right now! "Oh yes, he'll be in, I just meant medical staff," the anesthesiologist replied when I asked. Gabe was wondering what was going on because he kept seeing people coming and going from the room, and suddenly there wasn't anyone else coming or going. Thankfully, someone brought him over. I felt more relief and calm having him next to me than getting the epidural.
There wasn't much talk during the surgery. It was really weird to feel movement in my body - tugging and pulling and pushing. Suddenly (within 5 minutes), the anesthesiologist said to Gabe, "She's out if you want to see her, stand up." I guess Gabe's first impression was ewww, but once she was all washed off, he fell instantly in love. After the pronouncement of her being out, I was waiting for a squak or cry or something. My heart stopped a little because there wasn't anything. All I heard was almost everyone saying "Oh my, she's so pink!" And then there was that beautiful noise. My baby's first cry! Which of course brought me to tears. I wanted to see her so bad, but my guts were still hanging open. Darn it! As they pulled her out, she grabbed onto a sponge and she wouldn't let go. Silly girl. =)
Gabe made sure it was okay to go with her to get cleaned up and of course I said yes! go see our little girl! Like I said, it took all of 2 seconds after she was cleaned up for him to fall in love with another girl. And he was so proud of her when she peed all over the scale! As they were stitching me up, he brought her over and there's my baby! The love and emotion was overwhelming. And now we're officially a family, not a couple!
The past 12 days have been a whirlwind. Unfortunately, the lovey dovey I have a new baby high wore off after about a week. Not that I still don't feel love and excitement, but it's now laced with fatigue, exhaustion, soreness from breastfeeding, and recovery from major abdominal surgery. I love holding her after she's been fed - it's the time she's most alert and fun to watch. I can already tell she's grown and it breaks my heart to know she won't be this small ever again. But I am looking forward to when she can interact more and her smiles aren't driven by the randomness in her dream state. Time to go check on my little girl!!
